Different Kinds of Grad Students

Do you know this individual? It is Blorg, the loveable grad student. Catch this rascal studying hard in the student center and never forgetting his coffee punchcard.

Have you met Bald and Muscles? This zany character likes to spend his time munching down protein shakes in the quad. Due to his sheer strength, this cool cat crushes a laptop every other week, adding to his mountain of student debt!

C’mon guys, you seriously don’t know Brunch Linda? My goodness, better late than never. Not only is she a standup grad student, she shows up every morning with a to-go cup of coffee. Don’t worry though, she always responsibly composts her cups right into the ocean #greennewdeal

Oh boy, who’s this over here? That’s right y’all, it’s Mr. Foot. This grad student might not fit your definition of a conventional student, but he keeps things interesting by not having a body, sensory organs, or a brain! Why don’t you check your privilege and keep scrolling, buster…

Do you seriously have no friends? You don’t even know Tim Jr.?

Alright, let me introduce you. This is Tim Jr. Got it?

Tim has a beanie. He is taking a sabbatical from bussing tables and working on his novel to try out grad school. He might not be the most motivated student, but that’s ok cause he has a cool posters in his apartment and knows where to score weed!

Oh, you gotta know this character! Everybody loves Dad’s credit card. Sometimes he even buys us drinks for ‘group study time’ and totally didn’t get Cathy an uber home the otherday because she was too drunk to walk home in heels! If I were you, I’d make friends with this guy quick.

Oh. The grad student to end all grad students. That’s right, people, it’s Messenger Bag and Boots. He might be moody, but that’s only because he recently gave up kale juice and is feeling on edge. Give him time, and I bet you two will get along fine!