Orifices

Gaps, like all openings and urethras, must eventually be closed and swollen. In fact, many gaps close before we even recognize them to be gaps such as your Dad’s respect for me after I convinced you to get that rectum piercing (which in itself was a gap of gastronomical proportions). Most gaps have disappeared from this world before they even began. Like the whistle between your front teeth, the space between your mothers garden where my phallus slides ever so gently, or the bars in the dog cage where I gently lay my head to rest at night. One anonymous radical on the fetish website Goompy Nooblers (cousin spawn of Orifice writers) claimed in a sensual thread on adhesives that to even identify a gap is next to impossible. They then went so far as to say that there has never once been a tangible gap between anything ever and to label such a gap only brings those two items closer together. Such wisdom reminds us of when Diogenes famously said, “he called me a dog and was surprised when I pissed on him.” Such is the nature of gaps, identify them as gaps and they close on you. Forever. Empirically this has been ratified by infamous Gaptologists such as Edward Snowden’s father Lonnie and Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath who concluded their work on gaps in the mid eighties before retreating into a shamanistic forage into claustrophilia and their respective careers.

Let us take three seemingly unrelated gaps that humans are trying to close and observe how their closing will only lead to new openings. The education gap, the thigh gap, and The Gap.

The education gap if closed would only open new gaps in uniformity. For when everything is uniform it is of the same. To be of the same is to reduce all gaps to nothingness. Essentially through education we are effectively making everyone stupid. So burn your school to the ground as soon as possible.

The thigh gap in closing would free up space on public transit which creates new gaps and man spreading would be forced to manifest itself in more diabolical ways such as with gauges or spreading ass cheeks in unconscious domination.

With conforming only to the emptiness that is the GAP will folks expose how little they care for labels. Though those labels create gaps in what they could have been labeled as by creating an opening in one’s identities. And those openings in turn must be closed. Such is the way of the world.

Evidently there is a gap in what the hell we are even writing about coinciding with our will to live. Pointless, for without the point, we are without the gap. But as there must be a point there must be a gap but until that is found please keep burning schools, man spreading, and shopping. Just know that the sooner you’re out of the picture, the sooner we can close even more gaps.